horrible work week... i hav branded my new colleague useless... not only is blur... also gan jiong spider plus having a goldfish memory... write all the notes down also like no use.... literally vomited blood throughout the whole week..... dun even feel like teaching her stuff.... like wats the point sia... like tat how i run in June.... wah sebei sian lor... dunno how sia....
finally tong till weekend... wahahah!! finally can get some deserve rest plus pei dar...(this week special.... dar whole week bo class... see him like everyday... kekeke!!!) did nth much on sat... pei him whole day at hm... sun went out with him Elaine and her bf to ikea..... finally got my mirror for the toilet plus one shd be called a bed side drawer thingy...(finally got place to throw all my skin care and other things into some place.... but intend to place it beside the tv leh...) my room... aft for so long... can start to get organize liao... muahahah!!!
today dar ask me alot of 'stupid' qus.... ask when the first time i saw him again wats was my first thought... wahahah... wonder y he ask such things... then i started thinking... (yes... again.... my mind wander off to dunno where...) i thought about will he regret being with me... (or in this case marrying me...) i thought about ever since we 'found' each other aft so many yrs... wat was on my mind since then... wat was on my mind during those times when i wasnt working and he was either on guard duty or doing out field and we'll tok or sms throughout the nite away.... i wonder wats on my mind when he comes to me... saying his probs regarding his r/s.... maybe to him i was a straight forward frship between me and him... but for my case maybe it become complicated.... but i do know i regard him as a fr only then...
if so... then wat about the period of time when he lost his sec r/s?? when i was also having issues with my r/s.... i do know during tat time we kinda supported each other... i do know i tease him at times whenever he ask me to find a gf for him... or try to let his mind wander off the r/s issue.... i do know during those times i on off will hav thoughts of him... wondering whether he's fine or not... wondering how he's coping with everything.... his image will just flash into my mind at times... especially when ima down cos of my r/s issues.... and the first person i thought of calling will be him....(i rmb the time i wasnt feeling good.... call him and cried... first time he heard me cry... somemore so jialat... cant even hear wats ima saying....)
ima thinking... issit tat time tat i started to hav feelings for him... but by my character... i know even if i do hav... i wldnt do anything... i know i was still trying to work out my own r/s... i know i cherish my r/s dearly not to loss it like this...(but eventually nth seems to matter...)
if tats the case... alot of things i said to him then has alot of 'hidden' meaning to it.... alot of things tat i thought about was all encased in me.... i noticed ima bery 口是心非 person... i wldnt say things straight.... maybe cos i dun dare show my emotions or feelings to ppl.... i dunno... but for today i keep thinking about this like the rest of the nite... its like haunting me... think eventually i will find an answer to this 'mystery'.....
PS: 愿我能找出心里的答案...... 老公..... 关于刚才的问题...... 我的答案是........ 我愿意....
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