sianZz... lost my hp on tuesday.... so freaking piss with myself... y am i so clumsy.... and i love my hp.... pei me for like at least 4 yrs?? sebei sian de lor.... furthermore ima freaking shag... really ran around AMK looking for it and making the damn police report..... then next two days my legs like wat like tat... walk also cant walk...(wat to do... nv run like how many yrs suddenly run so much...)anyway.... managed to get a replacement sim card plus a 150 bucks voucher... wahahah!!! today got paid straight go buy a hp le.... got a Sony Ericsson Aino... black colour de... ya i know.. black again... so me rite??.... well though ima emo-ing over my precious lost hp... ima happy i got Aino.... been eyeing on it but dun bear to buy..... haiZz... with this extra expense plus the coming CNY.... my next mont cfm again not enough to spend liao lor.....finally saw dar aft the long week days..... miss him so much.... though we hav a slight bickering ytd i dun hold anything against him... to me is u hav ur logic i hav mine... i understand ur logic can le... but dun expect me to follow it of it does not compile with mine.... and i expect the same way as u..... anyway!!~~ i stuck to dar like glue today... wahahah!!! like a small kid sia... did nth much... saw him do his tutorial.... physics.... oggie lah.. can understand abit....(better than maths...) i shall consider myself playful today... kekekek.... dunno y.... see dar just wanna do alot of things with him.... oh ya.. he bought gifts for my mom... abalone shark fin plus other stuff... dunno how much it cost leh... think he burn a hole in his wallet again for me... mom was asking me y buy so much... i can only reply i dunno wat he bought in the first place lor... but i appreciate wat he do lah... think tml hav to buy gift for his mom le... or else i also no time to do shopping.... think ima go slp le... hoping tml comes faster.....
just now on the phone with dar... asked me wat i wan for vday.... lol... actually i dun care wat u get me lor... or in a way.. i dun need anything.... however wats the reason u gave me, its the thought tat counts rite??but in case he really stress over it.... maybe can give a few pointers? (since i really dun need anything at the moment or in this case... the things i wan is like freaking exp... wahhahah!!)
soft toys: anything but teddy bears or dolls (i will throw it away in front of ur face if u give me tat...)
jewellery: prefer rings or necklaces to bracelets or ear rings.... not a fan of diamond or gold... plain silver can le....electronic: dun bother.. i hav wan i need.... flowers: if really wan get tat i hate red or pink.... loves yellow white or blue... collectibles: also dun bother.. u got me unicorn le... enough liao...
clothing: prefer i get myself though...
hmmm... aft typing all tat.... i seems... ima not helping at all... wahahha!!!... (told u i dun need anything.....)
PS: we shall go take pic before CNY... so u can put in ur new wallet oggie?
in regards to a qus pointed out from dar to me: wat kind of person am i?my answer:
determine
organizehumorous
strict at times
stingy to himself yet generous to others
more optimistic than pessimistic
stubborn
likes to reason with pplabit 'da nan ren'
tends to be hard on himself
super responsible (abit too much...)caring
loving(hopefully only to me...)
level headed
far sighted
for now.. can only think so these things wor.... can or not ar?
the long awaited weekend aft a sucky week.... lol.... firstly was work... yea yea.... same old thing...... blah blah blah... i dun even bother saying... then family... urgh... really cant stand them... especially nearing CNY.... nag and nag... argue and argue.... every year is like tat... really make my blood boil some times.... but this week really buay tahan... really dun wanna stay at hm at all ar.... so... made a decision... stay one nite at dar's hse....
really enjoyed myself over at dar's place... though we nv go out at all... doesnt matter... females are weird creatures... dun dun really care wat the itinerary is as long as the person they care and love is beside them... so... kinda applies to me also... just enjoy the time spent with him...
oh ya.. one cute incident... i bought a book for him.... his 'death note: another note' novel... when he sees the book ar..... his eyes open so big... wahahha... reminds me of a image of a chubby boy outside a candy store.... so cute~~~ i see liao really heart melt sia.... ima glad he likes it...
ima so 'addicted' to slping beside him le.... nowadays if at hm slp... either is cant slp... or wake up super early.... like dunnos stress over wat like tat.... tat nite with him around slpt like a baby..... love tat warmth feeling of him beside me... love the moment when he hugs me to slp.... (maybe i really need him to calm my nerves down....)Sunday nth much.... love the moment when i woke up first thing i see is him... hear him say good morn to me... so sweet... kekeke.... did nth much though... he was doing his tutorials the whole day... i also dun wanna bother him much.... when to do my stuff... just enjoyed each other's company till nite... then he send me hm...(so dun wanna go hm~~EMO!!!~~~)
tats about it for the weekend... shall tahan the work week again till i see him on sat...
PS: on the phone with him while typing this post.... he's sick yet still doing tutorials.... being restless... piss over himself for making stupid mistakes... even say the F word out loud... haiZz... shall not blame him... cant help him much also....
buy cny stuff... (shit.. hav to go chinatown get my fav ba kua!!!~~) cny... less than a month... gonna be screwed by my mom... tons of things to do... again... sianZZz.. every year like tat de... and i got my own things to do... hav to set date to perm hair... set date for dental appt... work...... urgh.... not to mention the long to do list for cny.... change lantern.. change all the 'shen hong' for all the god's tablets.... spring clean... organise my freaking messy room....and lastly.. decor the hse... OMG.... where got time to do other things.... wondering wat shd i wear then.... haiZz.... another prob... watever... this yr's cny sian sia... same day as vday... means no need to cele liao..... since i'll be staying at hm helping my mom throughout the niteZz praying.... well at least ima already taken off on the 17th... nobody gonna touch tat day sia... i'll kill them.... speaking of vday.. dunno wat to get dar.... getting irritated by tat though... also wondering is he getting me anything or not... regardless is vday or bday...(most prob gonna be a combine gift if there is one...) if he does get me sth... hope its not exp... dun wan him to spend lui on me le....urgh... lately staying at hm is kinda like a chore... dun feel like slping in my hse anymore.... in a more precise way... dun feel like seeing them at all... cant stand them sometimes... argh....!!!watever.. nth much i can do anyway... shall wait for tml's sun rise.... hopefully its a better day...
tat day had a small argument with dar... he went to post some pics online.... basically ima not mad at him or doing tat.... i dun even mind he doing tat.... its his private space... i respect tat... but not to be inform by it.... ima bothered... i dun even know tat pic existed in the first place..... i dun even know it was in his desktop.... and i last thing i dun expect is tio posted online without me knowing...i know its my fault tat tat is like the only pic of us being taken.... i know tat he really wan to hav a decent pic of us... but i just cant look into the camera without feeling lost.... i know i kinda disappointed him with i told him i promise to hav a pic taken before his bday but it didnt happen... thus when i saw the pic online i wasnt angry at him posting... i was only upset i wasnt told... i felt backstab.... multiple times.... since i didnt know it existed in the first place...kinda dun wanna rmb wat happened... only knew we 'argued' in the morn.... no mood to work the whole day.... told him i dun mind him posting dun delete went to delete it... ask him to post back die die dun wan... felt like challenging me... dunno wats wrong also.... i just wanna be told tats all... and all he cld say was its the only pic... tats like 2 diff issues... y lump it together....but anyway issue kinda solve.... but sth keep bothering me.... lately we keep having arguments..... kinda too much with the short span of time.... i still rmb i wrote sth about honeymoon period.. we being so lovely dovey etc etc....and now its like tat period is over le.... and most likely im the root cause of it.. and i dun wan this to continue.... yet dunno how to resolve it... haiZz... i dun wanna hurt him further le.... it pains me to see him tio tortured by me.....
i wanted to type this like days ago... but dun wanna spoil my mood for the weekend... pretty dulan over it...few days ago was reading up dar's ex's blog.... sth about appreciating her current bf ar.... and how she got to know him had a crush one him blah blah blah etc etc etc.... doesnt really bothers me though.... its her life her decisions.... but wat pisses me off is the comment about she finally decided to break off with my dar to be with her current bf... kns.... i rmb vivdly how much torture he went through during those days where she choose to avoid him... how she wldnt tell him where she was or refuse to meet him.. giving alot of excuses... i rmb dar will call me countless times... bery restless.... dunno where she is.... dunno whom she's with.... to the point i hav to call her just to get an answer for dar..... i rmb how gan jiong dar was... how he wld keep asking me things.... and how awkward for me to answer him.... but on the other hand... i hav to be thankful to her... cos if its not for her..... i wldnt be with dar now... i wldnt hav 8 months of happiness and love.... i wldnt hav tat sense of security tat i yearn.... so ya... without her screwing his life up i wldnt know he meant alot to me.... i wldnt know tat actually i cared for him alot then... i wldnt know tat ima bery much affected by him.....
sianZz ar.... today is not a good day for anyone at all... ever since i woke up in the morn nth good comes.... morn woke up on tv... channel 8 was showing 早安你好.... was toking about traffic news... didnt really catch wat they're toking... but heard the part about aye tio jam cos got car acc.... just few mins later dar called... nv go work... got into car acc... wth... wats the chances o f tat happening... he didnt say much... only say he's fine.. waiting for police to come etc etc then cut off line le... totally no mood to work.... keep thinking about him... somemore today morn is like freaking busy... no time to do anything else.... boss also dunno is menopause or wat.... keep bugging me... cldnt take it... argued with her.... took half day off.... ran to dar side... dun really believe he oggie..... hav to see it for myself... thankfully not a scratch on him... or else i'll kill tat guy... but dar emo whole day.... keep mumbling about the repair claims for his car and the other person's car.... also about of all times tio acc hav to be now... since next week his class is starting le... alot of inconvenience will be caused... but more so about money issue.... keep saying he'll gonna be bankrupt.... truthfully i dun care whether he's bankrupt or not..... i dun even care whether we got enough lui to get married or wat... just wan him to be safe and sound... tats all.... however i dun blame him if he keep thinking about the claims and everything.... since one of the bugger who bang into his car sped off....(hope he burn in hell....)at nite he send me hm.... kinda dun wan him to... since it will take longer than usual... and tml he hav to wake up earlier since he bo car..... but really miss him and today i really dun feel like leaving him alone.... on the way back i keep thinking about sth... dar even comment y i look more emo than him.... dun really wanna tell him.... but told him i dun wan wedding dinner or wedding photos... also told him dun need to keep his promise of getting married at wat age.... dun wanna stress him out even further.... he only comment ima silly... lol... think tats the only bright light i see today....PS: seems tat aft i with u u become bery suay..... if tats the case.......
hmmm... this weekend is a whirlwind for me.... sat went out with dar.... went shopping for his bluetooth(finally getting one~~) then went toy hunting...finally found my WST Transformers(my dear Starscream of course... and its the ghost version!!!) but sadly my pay havnt come.... so....... i shall wait till this weekend... muahaahaaha!!!~~~~ great day.... only hiccup is nite dar hav to fetch his mom...(like rite aft we reach hm... so he's kinda shag...) but basically... a good day....then ytd i dunno is call wat lah.... can from super happy to drop to the bottom then come back happy again...(kinda tiring for the brain one de leh....) met dar during noon.... planning to go catch a movie... but kinda lua at hm first.... then he went to do sth really stupid and really to me unforgivable.... during tat period of time i wasnt piss or wat.... more of a overwhelming fear came upon me...... i thought i wldnt hav tat fear le... but hell i was wrong.... i literally clammed up.... i only know my mind was blank.... wasnt thinking at all.... wasnt even focusing on anything in the room... just went into like zombie mode or sth.... eventually settled down though....(i dunno how long it lasted....) tat was scary.... to him or to me.... i really really dun wanna face tat again....we did go for movies... had dinner and stuffs.... wasnt thinking about the previous issue by then.... just try to enjoy the remaining time with him till he sent me home...end of story: dun mess with my mind.... its already screwed up pretty bad le....
oh... finally... new yr liao..... start of new things... start of new thinkings and actions.... NY eve stayed at bf hse... nth much... nv went out or do anything special... i literally spend the whole early nite slping.... from like 930pm till the next morn... just like a normal day for me... dar at first say go see fireworks... but dunno where... (can still ask me go where to see.... when i already say i dunno) then keep asking me change my clothes... duhZz... nvm... since he say not going out liao change lor... dunno wat he up to also... i keep hearing him click his mouse... dunno wat he looking for online... thus.. since nth to do and not in the mood for anything... just went to slp.... but day still wanna be funny with me.... grrr... really getting on my nerve.... nvm..., finally can slp..... today woke up with super swollen eyes... think cos ytd spent almost 1 hr weeping(quietly of course) plus only slp in one position(which actually presses down on my nerves)... doesnt bothers me... i expected this to happen... today's schedule.. go dar's aunt hse paint her walls.... spent the whole day there... by the time we're done.. time to fetch his mom.... hmmmm.... kinda sad... new yr hav to do coolie worker.....basically nth much.... oggie holi for me... nth special nth bad.... normal day.... long time nv go see nite scenery liao le.... miss the lights....
