moodless.....

bad day... nobody understands..... everyone wans things done their way regardless whether the tactic is suitable or not..... anyway.... was reading the forum.... came across this... wonder how true it is.....

30 Things Girls Will Like Their Bf to Do
* 1- touch their waist
* 2- talk to them
* 3- share secrets
* 4- give her your jacket
* 5- kiss them slowly
* 6- hug them
* 7- hold her
* 8- laugh with her
* 9- invite her somewhere
*10- let her be with you when your with your friends
*11- smile with her
*12- take pics with her
*13- pull her onto your lap
*14- when she says she loves you more, deny it.fight back
*15- when her friends says they love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved
*16- always hug her and say i love you when you see her
*17- kiss her unexpectedly
*18- hug her from behind around the waist
*19- tell her she beautiful not sexy!
*20- tell her the way you feel about her!
*21- kiss her on the lips
*22- dont ask her to buy you stuff. you buy her stuff
*23- trust her , no matter wad .
*24- make her feel loved
*25- buy them stuff. like small things can still help
*26- don't lie to her
*27- dont cheat on her
*28- take her anywhere she wants
*29- txt messege her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her
*30- be there for her when ever she needs
you, & even though she doesn't need you just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

all i wan for xmas is you....

woohoo....!!! no need to work since thurs... had a terrific long weekend though ima super sick... stayed over at dar's place for 2 days... enjoyed every moment with him... as dar said... ima totally in 'la la land' for the past few days... i love the lil moments with him... waking up and seeing him the first thing in the morn... before heading to bed wishing him good niteZz and hugging him to slp....

actually..... dun really rmb wat we did... wahhaha~~~ didnt go out during xmas eve or the holi itself... just quietly spend some quality time with him alone at his hse... only rmb he most of the time building gundam... with me by his side(usually half aslp mode).... daydreaming again... just looking at him concentrating on his lil project.... ima so mesmerize by him sia... the more i look at him the more i find him good looking.... think ima still in 'la la land' lor.... or wat ppl say is really true.. women is attracted to men who is serious at work...

btw.... xmas also his bday..... gave him a gift with cards... took some time to think wat to write sia... so many things to say but dunno how to pen it down.... but oggie lah.. manage to write wat i wanted eventually... and he actually like my gift(heng ar... thought he will complain say i waste lui again sia....) i also got xmas present!! gundam unicorn!! yea!!!~~~ love it lots!! will really take my time to build tat... kekeke....

ytd went to science center... go and see the body works exhibition.... grrr... dar keep telling me if i do this or tat... this is now my organs will look like... kaozz... emo de lor... not tat ima not trying to get healthier wat... like tat also can shoot me sia...

anyway... boxing day was our 8th month together... wow... really one blink of an eye time flies like wat sia.... weird though... usually a relationship aft maybe bout 6 months will tend to settle down and act more like 'lao fu lao qi' le.. but we're still in a 'honeymoon' mode leh... dunno y like tat sia..... also dunno izzit a good thing or a bad thing... but.. who cares!!!~~~

oh ya.. ytd dar suddenly asked me... wat made me go look for him yrs back.... actual reason i really dunno wor... just know die die must dig him out from the corners of SG.... dun believe he vanish into thin air then... come to think of it... think he is kinda 'grateful' tat i found him... cos he asked me wat could hav happen to us now if yrs back i didnt manage to find him... another 'if' scenario qus... no answer de lor... diao..... but being a 'pan tang' person... i believe tat heaven is really making fun of us lor... for so many yrs since he moved away and transfer sch.... we're always some wat nearby each other... just tat is always 'cha shen er guo'.... freaky weird if u ask me...

12am le... time to slp.. tml work again.... well.. as least only halfday... seeing dar again tml!!! weee!!!!~~~

mixed feelings....

ytd dar came over for dinner....(since keep bugging me when he can come over so might as well...) already told him no need to buy anything still insist.... haiZz... nv learn de... anyway... my mom nv comment anything aft he left... so.... dunno wats she's thinking ATM.... but i think she dun hav anything to complain ba... cos if she dun like she wldnt even agreed to let him come my hse to makan de lor...

they didnt tok... (or maybe a few words when i disappear into the room for awhile.. tat i dunno liao) hmmm... dunno wat my dar is thinking rite now regarding this... think he think my family's weird or sth... everyone hides in one corner of the hse de... wahhaha!!!

dunno its a good thing or bad thing leh... dunno wat the both of them is thinking lor... i like kanna stuck in the middle... (not a good thing wor...)

will see how it goes...

assured.....

my back is killing me... need painkillers le... siao liao... how to work like tat.... haiZz... think MC tml liao lor....

dar been telling me stuffs... first is ask me go get my braces... then sth bout i hav to take photo... hav to wear dress... cannot run de... i hear liao totally blur... dunno wat the hell he was toking then... ask him still can tell me to go think about it... grrr... purposely de lor.... then next moment ask me to ask my mom stuff.... think he trying to assure me ba.... well... its working... ima not tat jumpy.... I'll just let him handle ba... he knows when's the most appropriate time ba...shall try not to be too sensitive over it le....

will enjoy every moment with him... even its for tat 20 mins......

feeling weird...

shag... back ache... think need tranxene again... well at least tml took leave... but no rest... time to see grandmom... maybe head down to see dad also... long time no see him le... miss him alot... good side is i get to see dar tml from aftn... kekekeke... missing him already even if though he fetched me from work just now... *blush.. wats wrong with me...*

lately keep over thinking things... about him.... i just dun get it... ima stubborn, bad tempered, spoilt(in a way), narrow minded at times... why of all ppl he pick me... and this isnt the main qus anyway... tat day actually wanna ask him de... but in the car i keep gagging... and the things he said... made me gagged even more... dunno why i keep thinking of such things..... i dun think its about being insecure... itsa more of.... finding out wats in his mind... wat was he thinking back then... why does he make tat decision... thinking back... maybe to him itsa normal... but kinda sudden for me....

another stupid issue in my mind... as usual... bio clock ticking.... faster now... kinda even MORE emo when i hear frs or relatives getting married.... i dun hav much time left... i got alot of things to plan... alot of things tat needs time.... and ima nearing 30... hello~~!!! dun wish to be an overage bride or mom!!~~ but as usual again.... cant do much.... so... just silently wait and see how it goes ba...

having mixed feelings... i hav the feeling tat i always wanna be with him.. i cant stand being alone... just need him by my side... just wanna wake up everyday and see his face first thing in the morn... yet i sometimes feels distant... maybe cos thinking diff ba... priorities diff ba... but nth is perfect lor... just hav to slowly work things out ba....

130am... time to slp... slp early wake up early can see him early le...

half moon feeling.....

sebei sianZzz... mood not good... alot of stupid issues popping up... especially at work... argh.... faster weekend lah... get over and done with.... sick and tired of lame phone calls.... brainless qus....

also heard alot of 'undesirable' answers from diff ppl.... urgh.... fed up.... like nobody is using their brains at all.... nobody is actually planning for anything..... or dun think its necessary to think about it now..... ya... dun think ba... dun last min rush everything and panic.... grrr~~~ dun think now then when go and really go ponder over it... i dun even know wat these ppl are doing ATM.... dun wanna plan for future.... or izzit i getting over paranoid compared to them....

at least i already scheduled myself for dental appt next month... braces time... gonna save up like mad for it(heng the first installment is not in thousands de)....... then by the time itsa done just nice(hopefully not more than 2.5yrs)... tat day also just check my CFP... sebei pathetic... haiZz... nvm... already calculated everything... not enough heng got lui in bank to tong(but shd be enough).... but anyway.... doesnt matter... say so much also no use de lah... i also dun wanna do anything liao... let nature take its course lah... say too much say i naggy... so just shut up and quietly do my work and other shit lah....

btw... alot of ppl getting married sia... steph ROM this month.. my colleague is ROMing on Feb... my sec sch buddy just ROM..... siao liao lah.. my wallet getting thin liao lor.... die... how to save lui sia... and all of them are getting married at the age tat i wanna get married... wahahah... not possible for me liao lor..... haiZz... dun wanna think about this le lah... think liao i more emo... can only say its never gonna be my turn lah...

emo emo emo....

can u be meggie?

EMO!!! DAR GOING FOR RESERVIST!! gonna be lonely.... for this week... oggie lah.. at least he booking out before the weekends.... so.... still can see him... lol... will wait anxiously everyday.. hopefully it passes quick!!!~~

this month gonna be another month of spending like siao... sebei sian lor... like tat how to save lui for braces...(jan got appt nia... heng only for normal consultation first... but still... got target date de leh.....) plus other things to think about... suddenly like not enough lui to get the stuff needed... haiZz... work harder ba.... things will turn out well de... eventually.... (thinking hard about CPF.... stress....!!!)

hmmm... having random thoughts.... again...(why... cannot izzit...) being together for almost 8 months le... time really flies... i still rmb the KTV incident vividly wor.... kinda miss tat day...(ya... we look extremely weird in other ppls' eyes then) wahahah.. the way u so *ahem ahem* shall i say it as gan jiong?? or totally lost... priceless moments sia.... but no matter... days are getting sweeter with each passing day.... loving him and cherishing him more with each passing moment with him.... 好想永远跟你在一起.....

counting down the days needed to pass before that happens.........

thinking.... thinking.... thoughts....

long time nv post... busy with work cum other stuff... my weekends are all not for enjoyments... either is helping dar with his sis wedding.... or with his 'new' room.... or cleaning my room up(which till now is not yet finish... sianZz...) even i took leave also like not for resting de... till i got super bad mood swing... one moment happy the next min totally change into thunderstorm.... as i said before lah..... this month ar..... suai lah... work like dog like tat.... 24 hrs also not enough...

super stressed up.... till the point i rant like crazy... every lil thing i complain... nag... the time i spend with dar is always not only the two of us... or suddenly got sth cock up.. hav to go settle... our own schedule hav to be compromised... sebei sian de lor like tat... like wats the point of meeting u when i hav to go settle other things... i forgo my own stuff to meet u yet i hav to cut short those times for the lil cock up....

but... oggie lah.... got silver lining... for the past 3 days no cock ups... no stuff to settle... finally can meet up 'normally'.... really enjoyed myself for the past 3 days... all my pent up anger all gone liao... i get to spend every min with dar alone... weee!!~~~ and every nite when he send me hm i really dun bear to go off... i wish nv to end the day at all.... wan to last as long as possible...

btw... nearing dec le... means his bday coming soon... hmmm... dunno wat the plan be...(as usual.. might hav cock ups... doesnt matter.. kinda used to it liao lor...)was thinking about the promise i made to him... die lah... got 4 weeks to realize it... dunno when sia.... still gonna ponder over it.... but ima so gonna get a new wallet for him.... i cant stand his wallet~!!!(i dun care ar... dun complain if i buy for u~~)

however..... think ima gonna hav mixed feelings this month... just hav an uneasy feeling towards it.... maybe ima thinking too much again... hope dar dun go paranoid over it again....

sidenote:
these 2 days keep thinking about the happening during this month... feel bad for dar... keep scolding him for no reason just cos of my mood swings... ima really bery sorry....

also... keep 'daydreaming' about us... just cldnt stop smiling.... wanted to ask a stupid qus to him today but didnt... wahhahah!!! oh well.. there's always another time to ask....

PS: will always love u... care for u... think about u.... i'll always be there for u.... regardless wat happens...

feeling bad... feeling sad... feeling troubled...

sian... ytd cover for colleague AGAIN.... shit lah... ytd suppose to be on leave de lor... hav to rush to work... KNS... while work i was so pissed... plus my hp super low on batt... (i panic when my hp no batt de) then i just buay tahan liao lor... snap at dar.... he of course buay song lah...

sebei suai lah... ytd whole day not a good day.... my mind simply snap... while during break i just sat at my seat staring at the ceiling... and i was thinking... y is all this shit happening to me... being busy is one thing.... but to be so stressed out till to the brink... and keep kanna snap by almost every single person i tried to help.... as though ima not trying to accommodate to everyone's demands liao.. to the point where it sacrifices my own things my own time my own priorities... i just get the idea of ppl getting greedy... its nv enough for them... its always not good enough or too little of it.... ppl just wan results.. dun wanna see the effort been put into it.. then wats the point of me trying so hard in the first place... i might as well just heck care everything or just do everything halfheartedly...

during break sitting there... i really cldnt take it liao... super depress... no one seem to understand the shit ima going through... almost break down... hav to psycho myself tat later hav to work... hav to tahan tat few hrs more.... then hp went dead... great... just when i was smsing dar about how i going hm.... knn.... eventually he fetch me back... not in good mood plus super tired plus not on the same page with him didnt tok to him..... i fell aslp in his car bery fast also... reach hm also nv tok much to him... only hugged him before i head into my hse...

felt bad for him cos i know he's showing concern towards me yet i snap at him.... but i sometimes think tat when ppl are in a bad mood its better to give them space to settle themselves down... or else sure will hav conflicts... somemore ima not like him... i deal with things differently compare to him... ya sure ima hot tempered but i do hav a limit of tolerance... when i say dun bother me so much i meant it... i dun wanna snap at ppl just cos ima frustrated over my stuffs...

tired... gonna rest.. working tml... gonna take leave or mc...

kitty need a nice long undisturbed nap....

wah seh... from 28 oct till 11 nov i busy like shit like tat... for the first time in my life ar... i really think tat having 24 hrs a day is not enough sia.... (thinking ima such a slack person)

everyday work liao tabao food back for mom... do some cleaning at hm before heading back to bro hse.. by tat time will be like 10 plus... bath liao eat liao 11plus... nv even touch the tv or lappy i slp... shag sia... not to mention out of these days i hav to cover my colleague for at least 5 days... wth lah... as though i made of metal or stone meh... dying soon liao le lor... body damn shag liao lor... gonna rest and enjoy during the coming weekends....

sebei emo also... i how many days busy equals to how many days nv really tok to dar... even tok to him my mood also not bery good... frustrating during the whole period... my mind is overloading with issues... reno... work... worried over my mom alone at hm... worried over my laogong... body system failing...(so stress tat my menses is bery late... hair is dropping.. die liao lah) and there is always nv ending this for me to do... always got backlog of crap for me to finish... a human can only tahan this much... i really REALLY going crazy... gonna hav mental break down soon liao lah....

ma lai si ya ~~

woohoo... going malaysia... (oggie fine... only a short trip... duhZz) this is like the 2nd trip 'overseas'... ya i know.... pathetic... but hey.... it beats those ppl who really nv hav he chance to go overseas hor... be grateful.... and going with dar dar... kekeke... think he also happy lor...

so basically went with laogong and a group of his frs.... kinda stupid though... he was to help his fr/colleague? move hse from SG to MY.... then since like tat he ask me to follow along... can jalan abit aft helping... somemore got locals to bring us... not scared tio lost or wat....

but one thing i bery buay song is tat at first say its one a sun... then last min change to sat... then nvm.. still hav to be like evening time... wth... i busy with work reno coming to and fro 2 hses and still give me such shitty timing ar?? wat to do... i was also wondering y in the hell dar agreed to help him... i mean... he's busy with his work and studies plus the upcoming ippt and reservist... not to mention his sis's wedding is around the corner.... got so much time meh?

my new passport... old one was expired.... biometric passport!!~~ can use liao~~

happy tat the person use the FIRST PAGE of the passport...
or else ar... i sure dulan one...

anyway.... the day's 'schedule':
went to work in the morn.. then head back to my hse for like 2 hrs....(might as well dun go back...) make me rush like mad.. not to mention the constant nagging by the all mighty mom... then got fetched by dar... went back to his place cos he need to change, get his passport and put his lappy.... met one fr at 4 at plus at his work place(jurong shipyard... the bangalas there... OMG... scary....) then go get tat bugger at... err... wats tat place call?? tao ching? or was it tah ching... dun rmb.. aiya... somewhere near lakeside lah... finally and head to causeway 2nd link... (bloody hell.. wanna move a 42 inch lcd tv... diao.... i nth to say ar.... cant complain....)

destination: gelang patah... exact location... i dunno... wahhaha.... aft moving all the stuff over headed to a shopping mall... dun expect me to know where it is... think nearing JB ba... kinda lost liao... bought some stuff back.. then head to a 'eatery'.... seafood... hmm... the food really not bad... can go back for seconds.... got to watch channel U while eating... wahhaha... i rmb got chen wei lian...(i long time no watch tv le!!!) sat there chit chat abit... then lua abit... think i and dar left MS like 10 plus... reach back his place at like 11 plus... bath liao straight go meet zhou gong for chess session liao lor...

itsa tiring day for me actually... cos its like during the reno period.... i already not enough slp etc etc.... but overall its a nice experience for me lah... gelang patah the place like bery slack mode... the ppl there like hav the happy go lucky mentality... and along the way to and fro there... the whole place to me like a giant kampong.... wahahha... one thing i really cant get use to is tat the road ar.... one whole stretch bo street lights de.... and dar still can tease me about it... oggie lah.. i sua ku can or not... duhZz....

hmmm... wondering when will i head out with dar again....

ten odds days of being a immigrant...

during the whole reno period went to stay at bro hse....(at fernvale... sendkang area...) bloody hell... hav to pack so many things over...(wat to do.. ger mah... so many bo liao things to bring) brought over like 3 big bags of crap.... living there was oggie... only prob is in the middle of the nite is freaking cold!!! every single nite i will wake up cos ima shivering... dun even need to on the fan sia....

going to work is a breeze actually... lol... no need wait for bus... but the LRT... my god... wanna cry sia... to me like so scary(ima afraid of heights) and the track... so narrow... every time i inside the cabin ar... like wanna fall off the track de... even worse when its moving fast... like roller coaster ride sia....

but hor~~~ got 2 days i stayed at laogong place... kekeke.... (happy liao lah... can tick ur wish list liao lah....) happy for him happy for me also... during the whole period of the reno time... literally no time to pei him at all... dun even hav the time to tok on the phone or msn with him since by the time i reach hm... ima freaking tired... before 12 i will fall aslp lor....... so during tat 2 days kinda like the sought out one on one time with him.... i miss those times already.... emo... when will be the next time......

the view from bro's guest room... the park at nite....

last final look... final salute!!~~

few more days my old toilets are no more... last look at them... from wat i know my unit is the last one to do along my corridor... so all my neighbours come over see the toilets... last chance liao... aft which is bye bye!!! will miss ya!!!~~ though u're dirty and disgusting... u both hav serve us well enough for the past 30 yrs liao.... wahhaha... anyway... my both toilets are disgusting lah hor... dun vomit.... (wat to do.. use near 30 yrs liao lor...)

my room toilet... eeeeuuuuu.....

kitchen toilet.... faints*

finally!! renovating my toilets!!

yeah~~ aft waiting for SSSOOOOO LLLOOONNNGGGG.... finally its my unit's turn to 'upgrade' the toilets... damn.... so many things to do..... weeks before they come do hav to wrap the whole hse up... sian lor... pack everything... wrap everything... hide everything...(my mom went to 'hide' my TF vcds.... now dunno where liao.. sad!!)

already move almost all my toys over to my bros hse... now only left like the bulky fixtures and fittings...(mainly the shelves and big plastic drawers etc etc.... wat to do.. my mom like garang guni... everything also wanna keep....) anyway... gonna just dump all onto the bed and cover them up... too lazy to really find place to put them.... my whole hse looks like a crime scene or sth like tat.... everything like tio tagged... cannot touch... sad man...

the sad sad pics of my crime scene hse....

my freaking room.... like shit sia....

the living(or dead) room....

kitchen....

heng ima staying at bro place for those 10 odd days... or else i surely die from all the dust inhalation...

sec day of reno...

oggie.... just one day before the reno starts i move to bro hse... so..... wat shit happens on the first day i dunno.. i only know itsa damn dirty cos of the dust and cement/tile ripping.... went back on the sec day... look see look see abit... also tabao food for mom... she nv really eaten a proper meal since the first day....

the kitchen main water pipe...

where my kitchen sink go?

kitchen toilet ceiling....

kitchen toilet floor...

my room toilet ceiling area...

toilet flooring....

third day... cementing day~~

oggie... nth much happens today...same thing... tabao food back... took a peep on wats happening to the toilets... apparently they just cement the flooring only... nth much... wahhaha....

room toilet...

kitchen toilet....

oggie... i was bored... so took these 2 pics directly downwards from the kitchen window...

day dunno wat... kinda lost count...

really starting to dun rmb dates liao... imagine... work then rush to hm.. then rush back to bro hse... shag sia... somemore ppl who knows me all know tat i slp usually at 2am... but lately i 11 plus i gone liao... wahahah.... body and mind like gonna cant tahan liao lor... anyway... tiling of the walls and flooring.... not done in one day... on diff dates....

my room de... blue blue blue!!! yeah!!

kitchen toilet... beige... wat to do... mom wans this colour.... eekkk...

amost done!!~~~

i only rmb i was a thurs... took leave to supervise them.... super dirty!! ARGH!!! but oggie lah... my toilets are completing liao lor... just a few more other minor things these ppl can get lost liao and i can get my room back....

near completion look: my toilet.... nice!

kitchen toilet...