thinking.... thinking.... thoughts....

long time nv post... busy with work cum other stuff... my weekends are all not for enjoyments... either is helping dar with his sis wedding.... or with his 'new' room.... or cleaning my room up(which till now is not yet finish... sianZz...) even i took leave also like not for resting de... till i got super bad mood swing... one moment happy the next min totally change into thunderstorm.... as i said before lah..... this month ar..... suai lah... work like dog like tat.... 24 hrs also not enough...

super stressed up.... till the point i rant like crazy... every lil thing i complain... nag... the time i spend with dar is always not only the two of us... or suddenly got sth cock up.. hav to go settle... our own schedule hav to be compromised... sebei sian de lor like tat... like wats the point of meeting u when i hav to go settle other things... i forgo my own stuff to meet u yet i hav to cut short those times for the lil cock up....

but... oggie lah.... got silver lining... for the past 3 days no cock ups... no stuff to settle... finally can meet up 'normally'.... really enjoyed myself for the past 3 days... all my pent up anger all gone liao... i get to spend every min with dar alone... weee!!~~~ and every nite when he send me hm i really dun bear to go off... i wish nv to end the day at all.... wan to last as long as possible...

btw... nearing dec le... means his bday coming soon... hmmm... dunno wat the plan be...(as usual.. might hav cock ups... doesnt matter.. kinda used to it liao lor...)was thinking about the promise i made to him... die lah... got 4 weeks to realize it... dunno when sia.... still gonna ponder over it.... but ima so gonna get a new wallet for him.... i cant stand his wallet~!!!(i dun care ar... dun complain if i buy for u~~)

however..... think ima gonna hav mixed feelings this month... just hav an uneasy feeling towards it.... maybe ima thinking too much again... hope dar dun go paranoid over it again....

sidenote:
these 2 days keep thinking about the happening during this month... feel bad for dar... keep scolding him for no reason just cos of my mood swings... ima really bery sorry....

also... keep 'daydreaming' about us... just cldnt stop smiling.... wanted to ask a stupid qus to him today but didnt... wahhahah!!! oh well.. there's always another time to ask....

PS: will always love u... care for u... think about u.... i'll always be there for u.... regardless wat happens...

feeling bad... feeling sad... feeling troubled...

sian... ytd cover for colleague AGAIN.... shit lah... ytd suppose to be on leave de lor... hav to rush to work... KNS... while work i was so pissed... plus my hp super low on batt... (i panic when my hp no batt de) then i just buay tahan liao lor... snap at dar.... he of course buay song lah...

sebei suai lah... ytd whole day not a good day.... my mind simply snap... while during break i just sat at my seat staring at the ceiling... and i was thinking... y is all this shit happening to me... being busy is one thing.... but to be so stressed out till to the brink... and keep kanna snap by almost every single person i tried to help.... as though ima not trying to accommodate to everyone's demands liao.. to the point where it sacrifices my own things my own time my own priorities... i just get the idea of ppl getting greedy... its nv enough for them... its always not good enough or too little of it.... ppl just wan results.. dun wanna see the effort been put into it.. then wats the point of me trying so hard in the first place... i might as well just heck care everything or just do everything halfheartedly...

during break sitting there... i really cldnt take it liao... super depress... no one seem to understand the shit ima going through... almost break down... hav to psycho myself tat later hav to work... hav to tahan tat few hrs more.... then hp went dead... great... just when i was smsing dar about how i going hm.... knn.... eventually he fetch me back... not in good mood plus super tired plus not on the same page with him didnt tok to him..... i fell aslp in his car bery fast also... reach hm also nv tok much to him... only hugged him before i head into my hse...

felt bad for him cos i know he's showing concern towards me yet i snap at him.... but i sometimes think tat when ppl are in a bad mood its better to give them space to settle themselves down... or else sure will hav conflicts... somemore ima not like him... i deal with things differently compare to him... ya sure ima hot tempered but i do hav a limit of tolerance... when i say dun bother me so much i meant it... i dun wanna snap at ppl just cos ima frustrated over my stuffs...

tired... gonna rest.. working tml... gonna take leave or mc...

kitty need a nice long undisturbed nap....

wah seh... from 28 oct till 11 nov i busy like shit like tat... for the first time in my life ar... i really think tat having 24 hrs a day is not enough sia.... (thinking ima such a slack person)

everyday work liao tabao food back for mom... do some cleaning at hm before heading back to bro hse.. by tat time will be like 10 plus... bath liao eat liao 11plus... nv even touch the tv or lappy i slp... shag sia... not to mention out of these days i hav to cover my colleague for at least 5 days... wth lah... as though i made of metal or stone meh... dying soon liao le lor... body damn shag liao lor... gonna rest and enjoy during the coming weekends....

sebei emo also... i how many days busy equals to how many days nv really tok to dar... even tok to him my mood also not bery good... frustrating during the whole period... my mind is overloading with issues... reno... work... worried over my mom alone at hm... worried over my laogong... body system failing...(so stress tat my menses is bery late... hair is dropping.. die liao lah) and there is always nv ending this for me to do... always got backlog of crap for me to finish... a human can only tahan this much... i really REALLY going crazy... gonna hav mental break down soon liao lah....

ma lai si ya ~~

woohoo... going malaysia... (oggie fine... only a short trip... duhZz) this is like the 2nd trip 'overseas'... ya i know.... pathetic... but hey.... it beats those ppl who really nv hav he chance to go overseas hor... be grateful.... and going with dar dar... kekeke... think he also happy lor...

so basically went with laogong and a group of his frs.... kinda stupid though... he was to help his fr/colleague? move hse from SG to MY.... then since like tat he ask me to follow along... can jalan abit aft helping... somemore got locals to bring us... not scared tio lost or wat....

but one thing i bery buay song is tat at first say its one a sun... then last min change to sat... then nvm.. still hav to be like evening time... wth... i busy with work reno coming to and fro 2 hses and still give me such shitty timing ar?? wat to do... i was also wondering y in the hell dar agreed to help him... i mean... he's busy with his work and studies plus the upcoming ippt and reservist... not to mention his sis's wedding is around the corner.... got so much time meh?

my new passport... old one was expired.... biometric passport!!~~ can use liao~~

happy tat the person use the FIRST PAGE of the passport...
or else ar... i sure dulan one...

anyway.... the day's 'schedule':
went to work in the morn.. then head back to my hse for like 2 hrs....(might as well dun go back...) make me rush like mad.. not to mention the constant nagging by the all mighty mom... then got fetched by dar... went back to his place cos he need to change, get his passport and put his lappy.... met one fr at 4 at plus at his work place(jurong shipyard... the bangalas there... OMG... scary....) then go get tat bugger at... err... wats tat place call?? tao ching? or was it tah ching... dun rmb.. aiya... somewhere near lakeside lah... finally and head to causeway 2nd link... (bloody hell.. wanna move a 42 inch lcd tv... diao.... i nth to say ar.... cant complain....)

destination: gelang patah... exact location... i dunno... wahhaha.... aft moving all the stuff over headed to a shopping mall... dun expect me to know where it is... think nearing JB ba... kinda lost liao... bought some stuff back.. then head to a 'eatery'.... seafood... hmm... the food really not bad... can go back for seconds.... got to watch channel U while eating... wahhaha... i rmb got chen wei lian...(i long time no watch tv le!!!) sat there chit chat abit... then lua abit... think i and dar left MS like 10 plus... reach back his place at like 11 plus... bath liao straight go meet zhou gong for chess session liao lor...

itsa tiring day for me actually... cos its like during the reno period.... i already not enough slp etc etc.... but overall its a nice experience for me lah... gelang patah the place like bery slack mode... the ppl there like hav the happy go lucky mentality... and along the way to and fro there... the whole place to me like a giant kampong.... wahahha... one thing i really cant get use to is tat the road ar.... one whole stretch bo street lights de.... and dar still can tease me about it... oggie lah.. i sua ku can or not... duhZz....

hmmm... wondering when will i head out with dar again....

ten odds days of being a immigrant...

during the whole reno period went to stay at bro hse....(at fernvale... sendkang area...) bloody hell... hav to pack so many things over...(wat to do.. ger mah... so many bo liao things to bring) brought over like 3 big bags of crap.... living there was oggie... only prob is in the middle of the nite is freaking cold!!! every single nite i will wake up cos ima shivering... dun even need to on the fan sia....

going to work is a breeze actually... lol... no need wait for bus... but the LRT... my god... wanna cry sia... to me like so scary(ima afraid of heights) and the track... so narrow... every time i inside the cabin ar... like wanna fall off the track de... even worse when its moving fast... like roller coaster ride sia....

but hor~~~ got 2 days i stayed at laogong place... kekeke.... (happy liao lah... can tick ur wish list liao lah....) happy for him happy for me also... during the whole period of the reno time... literally no time to pei him at all... dun even hav the time to tok on the phone or msn with him since by the time i reach hm... ima freaking tired... before 12 i will fall aslp lor....... so during tat 2 days kinda like the sought out one on one time with him.... i miss those times already.... emo... when will be the next time......

the view from bro's guest room... the park at nite....

last final look... final salute!!~~

few more days my old toilets are no more... last look at them... from wat i know my unit is the last one to do along my corridor... so all my neighbours come over see the toilets... last chance liao... aft which is bye bye!!! will miss ya!!!~~ though u're dirty and disgusting... u both hav serve us well enough for the past 30 yrs liao.... wahhaha... anyway... my both toilets are disgusting lah hor... dun vomit.... (wat to do.. use near 30 yrs liao lor...)

my room toilet... eeeeuuuuu.....

kitchen toilet.... faints*

finally!! renovating my toilets!!

yeah~~ aft waiting for SSSOOOOO LLLOOONNNGGGG.... finally its my unit's turn to 'upgrade' the toilets... damn.... so many things to do..... weeks before they come do hav to wrap the whole hse up... sian lor... pack everything... wrap everything... hide everything...(my mom went to 'hide' my TF vcds.... now dunno where liao.. sad!!)

already move almost all my toys over to my bros hse... now only left like the bulky fixtures and fittings...(mainly the shelves and big plastic drawers etc etc.... wat to do.. my mom like garang guni... everything also wanna keep....) anyway... gonna just dump all onto the bed and cover them up... too lazy to really find place to put them.... my whole hse looks like a crime scene or sth like tat.... everything like tio tagged... cannot touch... sad man...

the sad sad pics of my crime scene hse....

my freaking room.... like shit sia....

the living(or dead) room....

kitchen....

heng ima staying at bro place for those 10 odd days... or else i surely die from all the dust inhalation...

sec day of reno...

oggie.... just one day before the reno starts i move to bro hse... so..... wat shit happens on the first day i dunno.. i only know itsa damn dirty cos of the dust and cement/tile ripping.... went back on the sec day... look see look see abit... also tabao food for mom... she nv really eaten a proper meal since the first day....

the kitchen main water pipe...

where my kitchen sink go?

kitchen toilet ceiling....

kitchen toilet floor...

my room toilet ceiling area...

toilet flooring....

third day... cementing day~~

oggie... nth much happens today...same thing... tabao food back... took a peep on wats happening to the toilets... apparently they just cement the flooring only... nth much... wahhaha....

room toilet...

kitchen toilet....

oggie... i was bored... so took these 2 pics directly downwards from the kitchen window...

day dunno wat... kinda lost count...

really starting to dun rmb dates liao... imagine... work then rush to hm.. then rush back to bro hse... shag sia... somemore ppl who knows me all know tat i slp usually at 2am... but lately i 11 plus i gone liao... wahahah.... body and mind like gonna cant tahan liao lor... anyway... tiling of the walls and flooring.... not done in one day... on diff dates....

my room de... blue blue blue!!! yeah!!

kitchen toilet... beige... wat to do... mom wans this colour.... eekkk...

amost done!!~~~

i only rmb i was a thurs... took leave to supervise them.... super dirty!! ARGH!!! but oggie lah... my toilets are completing liao lor... just a few more other minor things these ppl can get lost liao and i can get my room back....

near completion look: my toilet.... nice!

kitchen toilet...